Parenting advisors have for many decades failed to assist the parents of the world in totally eliminating their children's temper tantrums. One primary reason this has happened is that the majority of expert parenting advisors are misinformed and misguided and they don't understand the true cause of temper tantrums. These professionals believe (and so state) to parents the world over that the causes of temper tantrums are children's inability to express themselves in words, low tolerance for any kind of frustration, lack of problem solving abilities, need for attention, lack of substitute ways to vent their emotions, and determination to have their own way-all of which, they tell us, naturally leads children into tantrum experimentation.
I have learned on my own that these are not the true causes of tantrums. They are, however, the causes of the initial anger that leads up to the tantrums. Over a twenty-three-year period, I have repeatedly demonstrated that if the initial anger of a child invokes the needed parental response, the anger quickly goes away and doesn't develop into a tantrum. One very real cause of tantrums is when parents don't meet the initial anger needs of their children.
Children who don't consistently get their anger needs met learn to trust that likelihood and become predisposed to quickly escalate into tantrums. However, children who do consistently get their anger needs met learn to trust that likelihood and become predisposed to not quickly escalate into tantrums. Tantrums are consistently prevented by demonstrating to children that their anger is understood and that it will consistently get the right response.
I gained this understanding of proper anger responses through personal experience. My first five kids all threw temper tantrums. My last eight didn't. When my fifth baby was fourteen months and I learned how to improve my responses to his anger, he stopped throwing temper tantrums within a week or so. I then used my improved anger responses with my last eight children, from the time they were born, and it prevented all tantrums with them, for the duration of their entire childhoods.
I called my techniques Infant Anger Management, partly because they can be used on newborn infants in starting to teach them never to tantrum. When parents abandon all of the faulty causes of temper tantrums they've been taught and then learn how to functionally respond to the anger of their infants and children, there are no more temper tantrums to have to deal with.
I have learned on my own that these are not the true causes of tantrums. They are, however, the causes of the initial anger that leads up to the tantrums. Over a twenty-three-year period, I have repeatedly demonstrated that if the initial anger of a child invokes the needed parental response, the anger quickly goes away and doesn't develop into a tantrum. One very real cause of tantrums is when parents don't meet the initial anger needs of their children.
Children who don't consistently get their anger needs met learn to trust that likelihood and become predisposed to quickly escalate into tantrums. However, children who do consistently get their anger needs met learn to trust that likelihood and become predisposed to not quickly escalate into tantrums. Tantrums are consistently prevented by demonstrating to children that their anger is understood and that it will consistently get the right response.
I gained this understanding of proper anger responses through personal experience. My first five kids all threw temper tantrums. My last eight didn't. When my fifth baby was fourteen months and I learned how to improve my responses to his anger, he stopped throwing temper tantrums within a week or so. I then used my improved anger responses with my last eight children, from the time they were born, and it prevented all tantrums with them, for the duration of their entire childhoods.
I called my techniques Infant Anger Management, partly because they can be used on newborn infants in starting to teach them never to tantrum. When parents abandon all of the faulty causes of temper tantrums they've been taught and then learn how to functionally respond to the anger of their infants and children, there are no more temper tantrums to have to deal with.
About the Author:
Learn more about the causes of temper tantrums.To eliminate tantrums . visit Leanna Rae Scott's site for help with temper tantrums.
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