How To Raise The Child You've Got, Not The One You Want

By Saleem Rana


Nancy Rose, a Child Advocate, spoke to Lon Woodbury on "Parent Choices for Struggling Teens," which is a radio show on L.A. Talk Radio. She talked about the importance of raising the child you've got, not the one you want. Moms and dads who don't like their kid's core attributes, will cause the kid to get the idea that there is something inherently wrong with themselves. The host of the program, Lon Woodbury, is an Independent Educational Specialist. He has worked with families and struggling adolescents since 1984.

Nancy Rose

Nancy Rose is a mother of two sons. She has spent greater than 25 years examining the role of acceptance in parent-child relationships. An attorney and financial adviser by occupation, she now spends her time as a speaker, writer and coach for parents. In her new book, "Raise the Child You Want--Not the One You Want" she talks to moms and dads who long to re-establish a caring connection with their kid.

How to Raise the Child You've Got, Not the One You Want

Nancy's book "Raise the Child You've Got--Not the One You Want," originated from her own individual experience. She grew up not really feeling appreciated by her Mom and because of her experience of emotional pain around her self-identity. She knew her Mom loved her, yet she was not convinced that her Mom liked her; so, she spent her entire youth trying to win her mother's approval. Only years later, when she came to be a mother herself did she find out how to begin to heal her own childhood angst.

Nancy obtained her self-esteem during her twenties by becoming a scholastic super-achiever. Then she awakened from her "hypnotic trance of achievement" when she understood that she had become a tax lawyer and an accountant simply to please her mother. Now, with a law and finance degree, the law degree from the University of California, Berkeley and the degree in finance from the University of Illinois, she puts her understanding, experiences, and qualifications to serve her passion for making sure every child is allowed to shine.

She has determined 9 characteristics of children for parents to identify their child's core nature -- activity, adaptability, distractibility, ease with the unfamiliar, intensity, optimism, persistence, regularity, and sensory reactivity. A child will only really feel accepted when his/her parents accept each trait, helps their child and offers parent management. By accepting a youngster's Core Self, it becomes a lot easier to raise the child you've got, not the one you want.




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