Dr. Laurence Steinberg, a parenting expert says that there is no more vital job in society than raising children and there is no more important influence on how children grow than their parents.
This flies in the face of our society that rewards people the least who take on human caring roles. Think of the salaries of school teachers, nurses and in particular child care, special education and aged care workers compared to other professions.
Such a discrepancy often causes many in these human caring professions as well as parents to feel undervalued and to even question the value of their role.
One method to do a quick reality check of the worth of something is to pretend that you didn't have it. For example, how valuable is air? Clearly, if you didn't have access to air you would be dead pretty soon. Therefore air is pretty important.
When a child is born and during the formative years from infancy to adolesence it is unquestionable that a child absolutely needs parents. Children who grow up without parents are seriously disadvantaged physically, emotionally, socially, psychologically and spiritually, which manifests in a myriad of ways.
A trickier question is "to what extent do teenagers need their parents?" In other words, how crucial is the parent teenager relationship? A superficial look may reveal that teenagers have less need and even desire to have parents in their lives compared to when they were preadolescent.
Teens have an emotional need to make their own choices and to be independent which often causes parents to feel unwanted and not needed. But this is clearly not the case.
Teenagers need and want their parents involved in their life like never before. The difference is that they want their parents to relate to them in a different way that celebrates their uniqueness and need for independence. The parent teenager relationship then is vital to the success and happiness of a growing teen.
The parents who do best are those that make a transition from being a parent to a preadolescent to being a parent of an adolescent. Both parents and teenagers question the worth and value of their parent teenager relationship when their is no transition in parenting stye.
Said another way, when the parent does not change their parenting ways to suit a growing and changing teenager, the teenager easily comes to feel misunderstood, badly treated and disrespected. The parent too comes to feel the same way and hence there is a breakdown in the parent teenager relationship.
The solution is simple but takes a lot of courage, commitment, selflessness and maturity to execute. What it means is that your parent teenager relationship becomes more akin to a parent who plays the role of a coach to their teenager. This becomes incredibly meaningful and empowering as mutual love and respect grows.
This flies in the face of our society that rewards people the least who take on human caring roles. Think of the salaries of school teachers, nurses and in particular child care, special education and aged care workers compared to other professions.
Such a discrepancy often causes many in these human caring professions as well as parents to feel undervalued and to even question the value of their role.
One method to do a quick reality check of the worth of something is to pretend that you didn't have it. For example, how valuable is air? Clearly, if you didn't have access to air you would be dead pretty soon. Therefore air is pretty important.
When a child is born and during the formative years from infancy to adolesence it is unquestionable that a child absolutely needs parents. Children who grow up without parents are seriously disadvantaged physically, emotionally, socially, psychologically and spiritually, which manifests in a myriad of ways.
A trickier question is "to what extent do teenagers need their parents?" In other words, how crucial is the parent teenager relationship? A superficial look may reveal that teenagers have less need and even desire to have parents in their lives compared to when they were preadolescent.
Teens have an emotional need to make their own choices and to be independent which often causes parents to feel unwanted and not needed. But this is clearly not the case.
Teenagers need and want their parents involved in their life like never before. The difference is that they want their parents to relate to them in a different way that celebrates their uniqueness and need for independence. The parent teenager relationship then is vital to the success and happiness of a growing teen.
The parents who do best are those that make a transition from being a parent to a preadolescent to being a parent of an adolescent. Both parents and teenagers question the worth and value of their parent teenager relationship when their is no transition in parenting stye.
Said another way, when the parent does not change their parenting ways to suit a growing and changing teenager, the teenager easily comes to feel misunderstood, badly treated and disrespected. The parent too comes to feel the same way and hence there is a breakdown in the parent teenager relationship.
The solution is simple but takes a lot of courage, commitment, selflessness and maturity to execute. What it means is that your parent teenager relationship becomes more akin to a parent who plays the role of a coach to their teenager. This becomes incredibly meaningful and empowering as mutual love and respect grows.
About the Author:
Are you currently frustrated and tired by your relationship with your teen? Are you looking for more helpful and better ways to relate? If so, parent teen coach, Paul Saver has 7 FREE videos that he is giving away that can help you transform your parent teen relationship To get your FREE videos, just click on the link.
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