Some Benefits Of Attending Couples Therapy

By Harriett Crosby


Married couples are faced with problems of one form or another. This is normal for any healthy relationship. When the problems are too complex as to cause instability in the relationship, there is a need to intervene. Couples therapy can be defined as counseling differing spouses in order to bring them to a common ground. The short duration of therapy ranges from one to three sessions while the long term counseling constitutes between twelve to twenty four sessions. Usually the concerned parties are given time to tell the story of what has them to seek professional help.

Every human being is different, with a unique personality and principles. This has to be acknowledged by the therapist and each of the spouses. Most problems between spouses are due to ego, arrogance, insecurity, greed, anger and lack of communication. Situational changes profoundly influence the response and conduct of spouses. Such alterations most commonly include financial issues, interference by third parties and physical health.

Difference in the personality and view of issues is the primary cause of misunderstanding between spouses. As such, they should show a willingness to put their differences aside for the common good of all. Each partner should be in a position to adapt to changes in situation selflessly. In simple words, it takes two to tango.

Communication is one of the major tools in this exercise. Partners are given time in turn to express what they feel about their situation to each other. A problem shared is half solved; therefore this process lightens weight borne by each party with regard to problems. The listener is trained to have a positive attitude towards criticism by their partner as a way of avoiding similar circumstances in future.

There are many types of professionals who can give this therapy. They include, among others, pastors, psychiatrists, social workers and psychologists. The most important attribute of the therapist is to be a good listener. They should also be good problem solvers and neutral in their dealings.

The practitioner first has to listen to both sides of the story before making any other step. Each partner may be seen individually depending on circumstance and how beneficial this can be. However, the individual approach should only be used when there is mutual consent and does not pose further threat to the relationship.

Paradoxically, therapy may worsen problems in a relationship instead of solving depending on the methodology used. The major drawback in active listening is distortion of the intended purpose. Without a positive attitude by the listener, criticism becomes interpreted as abuse.

There have been many changes in the treatment over the years to conform to the types of modern relationships. Today, couples therapy also includes people who are not married or engage in a homosexual relationship. Same sex couples face additional challenges including social and legal discrimination. The role of the practitioner is to ensure homosexual partners are well incorporated into the society.




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